There are a few things I really love: Tottenham Hotspur, my partner, Christmas and food.

So when London’s café chains announced the return of their festive menus, I was out the door faster than you can say ‘Lucas Moura hat trick’.

I had high expectations for the sandwiches: succulent turkey and rich stuffing smothered in cranberry sauce, all nicely sandwiched between two perfect slices of bread.

READ MORE: ‘I tried the Christmas sandwiches from Asda, Tesco, Waitrose and M&S and the most surprising one clearly beat the others’

As far as I’m concerned, there are four main café chains in London: Starbucks, Costa, Pret and Caffe Nero.

I say the latter with trepidation, as I’ve always had the impression it’s the inferior one.

I don’t have any good reasons for this, I just needed to direct my anger at capitalism somewhere.

I opted for Christmas sandwiches for one reason only: it’s the most basic of items and there’s nowhere to hide any mistakes.

That’s right, I’m serious about my Christmas food and I’m not letting any big chain hoodwink me.

As I sat down with my sandwiches, I was ready for some serious festive cheer.

Pret’s Christmas lunch sandwich – £3.99

Pret’s was full of onions (Image: MyLondon)

I have nothing against crunchy onions.

I even quite enjoy them spread liberally across a hot dog.

That being said, this was more of a crispy onion and cranberry sandwich than a Christmas sandwich.

Delicious, but not what I bought.

I couldn’t taste any meat and any bacon chew was vastly overpowered by the huge quantities of crunchy spinach.

Not to mention the ridiculous quantity of crispy onions that left me with frankly disturbing breath for many hours.

Total score: 2/5

Starbucks’ ‘Tis the Season Turkey Sandwich – £4.19

Starbucks’ made me so thirsty (Image: MyLondon)

Yes, Starbucks, it IS the season.

The season for you to invent more gimmicks to make money.

Come on, we all know the Christmas Tree Brownie is just a regular brownie turned on its side.

But this looked promising; the turkey seemed to be teasing me from behind its little plastic window.

And it was right to tease me – this was near perfect.

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The only thing missing rather desperately was any semblance of moisture.

The crunchy spinach and rich stuffing were practically whacking me over the head with Christmas cheer, but it was also slightly reminiscent of having all the meat left on your plate but being out of gravy.

I was left needing water quite desperately, so maybe this sandwich is a tactic to get people to buy their drinks?

Total score: 4/5

Caffe Nero’s Turkey Feast Panini – £4.70

Caffe Nero, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I misjudged you (Image: MyLondon)

I ate this so fast I got the hiccups, so have a guess at what I thought.

That’s right – perfection!

My thoughts on Caffe Nero have been changed forever and I apologise for scoffing when asked if we should go there for lunch.

Tangy cranberry, generous amounts of turkey and just enough stuffing to be thoroughly festive.

It turns out the secret to this beauty was pork and apricot stuffing and I’ve been convinced to try it for Christmas dinner.

Total score: 5/5

Costa’s British Turkey Feast – £3.75

Costa’s sandwich had a distinct lack of vegetables (Image: MyLondon)

This was the only sandwich with no hints of vegetables.

It’s perfect for people who don’t want to be fooled into thinking they’re eating healthy.

Somehow the stuffing was sweet and so was the cranberry sauce.

As someone who likes my cranberry sauce so tart it makes me look like I just had Botox, I didn’t appreciate the almost pate-like flavour of this sandwich.

There was also a distinct lack of any christmassy sage.

I would buy it again in a pinch, but not for the purpose of Christmas cheer.

Total score: 3/5

Verdict

If you want seriously festive goodness, head straight to Caffe Nero for a taste of their innovative apricot stuffing.

If you’re prepared with a drink, Starbucks should be your pick.

If you’re averse to vegetables or anything with a hint of health, head to Costa.

And if you want to experience no Christmas joy at all, Pret’s your best bet.

Have a food story you think we should cover? If so, email lea.seeberg@reachplc.com

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